Grandma B

Once in a blue moon I'll drift off to sleep and dream about her. I have to say, I wish I could dream about her more often...
The dream fell along the normal 'nightmare' path.. someone trying to kill me. I ended up catching them and turning them into the police and after a long brawl I went home. I couldn't sleep so at 1am I called my grandma and stayed with her. And when I woke up, I realize thats what I've truly been missing... just some quality time with the person who loved me most. I miss being able to call her at all hours and just vent and having her comforting voice on the other end.

It's been two years..
At this time in '06 she was in "Select" - a horrible wing of St. Luke's Hospital in Milwaukee. It's where most of the damage was done. I'd visit her and on some days she was hysterical.. she thought she was in prison and asked me to take her home. She would yell at scream and not have any clue what was going on. Those were some of the most emotional months for me.. I used to leave the hospital bawling..

I've struggled with analyzing how her death has really affected me..and I haven't quite gotten an answer. I know it's part of how messy the last few years of my life have been.. I can't say that I've made any positive movement since she passed away.. I've just been very reactionary. I wonder what that means?

I've promised myself to make good use out of this move. I'm dedicating my time here to *finding myself*. I've been through a lot of therapy and medications but it's about time I get a significant grasp on things. If not for me.. for Grandma B.

Powerful Stuff...

Saturday was my first day of training for the Sexual Assualt Services volunteer program I am participating in. Eight whole hours of facts and questions and even a little pizza..

It was an astonishing eye opener. I used to consider myself educated and aware and until this afternoon I didn't realize how wrong I was.. There are so many statistics that shocked me. There is so much information I was unaware of. And lastly, it killed me to see how I feed the negative stereotypes that keep sexual assault victims in the dark. My thought process is/was a little backwards and I truly look forward to altering my views and then spreading positive education to everyone I know..

The meeting also touched me on some serious levels.... I had no idea the emotions I had suppressed. No idea...
I look forward to exploring those emotions and hopefully using my new knowledge to get my own demons out. I'm pretty sure they're the reason I'm in therapy. Finally.. years and years later.. I'm starting to open up and it feels good to breathe easier..

Saying Goodbye to the B-B-Y

Adios iPods, cell phones, home phones
Peace out Panasonic, GE, and Vtech
So Long Samsung, Insignia, and KAJEET

I'm outa here!

It's a sad departure, but a good one. I'll miss each and every coworker of mine for the different ways they all made me smile...
It felt like a second home and I really enjoyed *most* of my time spent there. Ok, so only the time I went running around the store to avoid customers..
Nonetheless.. I have some funny stories to share.

#1
[gentlemen asks me to find him a docking FM transmitter for his boat]
Me: "I like Griffin myself, sir. This one right here should do ya good.
Dude: "Great. Thanks Val. So you wanna come install this on my boat? In a bikini maybe?"

#2
[returning customer spots me from a mile away and waves with a big smile]
Me: "heeey how are you doing (completely blank as to what he did the first time he came in)
Dude: "hey I'm looking to sign up another cell phone...
[continue boring sales pitch, no sale, and a farewell]
Me: "Well I'd say see ya when you come back tomorrow, but I'll be gone."
Dude: "What?!"
Me: "Yeah. Moving to Racine. Leaving the store"
Dude: "Where?"
Me: Yeah, Racine...?"
Dude: "Address?!"
Me: [cue strange look?]
Dude: "Well ya, I drive down past Racine all the time..."
Me: "riight"

#3
[phone call]
Me: "Thanks for calling Best Buy Wireless, this is Val, how can I help you?"
Customer: "Yeah, do you have the number for Circuit City?"

#4
[helping customer look at iPods. Short, pudgey, funny-lookin businessman with a terrible lisp]
Me: "Well sir, what exactly will you be putting on the iPod? Music? Movies?"
BM: " Well Yessss, mostly mussssic, and well.. this is gonna sssound weird but, can I put ssself help tapessss on there?"
Me: "uh ya".

#5
[enter guy who is waaay too into his looks. Short, tan, and has a tight T shirt on trying to define his muscles he's obviously worked hard for]
Muscles: "I have some reward certificates on my computer I can't print off. Could you guys do it for me?"
Me: "If our computers can access the email site, we should be able to. Some websites are prohibited..(bla bla bla). If you just give me your information, I'll take it in the back office and use that computer. It will be the only one that would work, if any.
Muscles: "Ok. [scribbles down info]
Me: [walks into backroom and lays paper out to see what email account he has. cue LOUD LAUGHTER]
BackOffice: "What??"
Me: "His password. It's STUDLY35"

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i'll have to think of some more later..