Saying Goodbye to the B-B-Y

Adios iPods, cell phones, home phones
Peace out Panasonic, GE, and Vtech
So Long Samsung, Insignia, and KAJEET

I'm outa here!

It's a sad departure, but a good one. I'll miss each and every coworker of mine for the different ways they all made me smile...
It felt like a second home and I really enjoyed *most* of my time spent there. Ok, so only the time I went running around the store to avoid customers..
Nonetheless.. I have some funny stories to share.

#1
[gentlemen asks me to find him a docking FM transmitter for his boat]
Me: "I like Griffin myself, sir. This one right here should do ya good.
Dude: "Great. Thanks Val. So you wanna come install this on my boat? In a bikini maybe?"

#2
[returning customer spots me from a mile away and waves with a big smile]
Me: "heeey how are you doing (completely blank as to what he did the first time he came in)
Dude: "hey I'm looking to sign up another cell phone...
[continue boring sales pitch, no sale, and a farewell]
Me: "Well I'd say see ya when you come back tomorrow, but I'll be gone."
Dude: "What?!"
Me: "Yeah. Moving to Racine. Leaving the store"
Dude: "Where?"
Me: Yeah, Racine...?"
Dude: "Address?!"
Me: [cue strange look?]
Dude: "Well ya, I drive down past Racine all the time..."
Me: "riight"

#3
[phone call]
Me: "Thanks for calling Best Buy Wireless, this is Val, how can I help you?"
Customer: "Yeah, do you have the number for Circuit City?"

#4
[helping customer look at iPods. Short, pudgey, funny-lookin businessman with a terrible lisp]
Me: "Well sir, what exactly will you be putting on the iPod? Music? Movies?"
BM: " Well Yessss, mostly mussssic, and well.. this is gonna sssound weird but, can I put ssself help tapessss on there?"
Me: "uh ya".

#5
[enter guy who is waaay too into his looks. Short, tan, and has a tight T shirt on trying to define his muscles he's obviously worked hard for]
Muscles: "I have some reward certificates on my computer I can't print off. Could you guys do it for me?"
Me: "If our computers can access the email site, we should be able to. Some websites are prohibited..(bla bla bla). If you just give me your information, I'll take it in the back office and use that computer. It will be the only one that would work, if any.
Muscles: "Ok. [scribbles down info]
Me: [walks into backroom and lays paper out to see what email account he has. cue LOUD LAUGHTER]
BackOffice: "What??"
Me: "His password. It's STUDLY35"

---------
i'll have to think of some more later..

Funny Story Three..

I forgot a good story and my wonderful sister reminded me today while writing in her blog.

We got onto the subject of boys and their PePes, and the fact that they are uber self conscious. I was telling her about the day I last glanced at a Magnum condom.
[during intense foreplay]
Me: "no sex without a condom pal, you got any on you?"
Dude: "yeah. in my pants pocket"
[leaning off bed and digging into pockets.. pull out a Magnum]
Me: "A Magnum?! Who the hell did you steal *this* from?!!?"

My sister is convinced this is the reason he doesn't like me anymore. My response? "ya well.."

Funny Story!

Actually, I've got two. Numero Uno..

Yesterday I spent most of my afternoon sitting in my room transferring CDs to iTunes. I have this huge window next to me that Chico and I peek out of daily. Per usual, when he perks up, I assume there is a dog running around the backyard inspiring his curiosity. I took a look out yesterday and there was a giant woman shuffling along with a gorgeous golden retriever who was bouncing around like a maniac on his leash. Then, out of nowhere, flies this little pixie of a white puff ball puppy and the retriever loses it. He does circles around his giant owner and she spins like a top. I don't think me and Chico could have snorted any harder.. I should have taken a picture..

Story #2.
I've been meaning to get back onto my meds and last night I started up again. I truly forgot how much I hate starting those things... Nautious as all hell!
Big Sis: "how many did you take?"
Lil Sis: "one and a half. thats what I was taking.."
Big Sis: "you DUMBASS! you can't just start up on them like that. You have to easy onto them"
Lil Sis: "oh......"
Big Sis: "are you sure you're my sister?!?"

--So apparently thats why I was so sick, but in my defense, they would have made me nautious anyway. It was no fun tossing and turning and watching the clock and putting on music and laying on my back, then tummy, the side, then I'm hot, then I'm not...

ugh. drained. and I still feel a little natious. and a little like I'm going to get my stupid*fucking period. Perrrfecto!