10 Things About Myself I'm Not Proud Of

1. I'm hormonal. I'm also Mexican/Sicilian which only adds to the temper tantrums.. but seriously. I've started on new pills that I'm hoping will help, but I can't see a big turnaround yet..

2. I'm in therapy. It was something *I* opted for when I left my fiance. Some sort of guiding light because I haven't felt this loss since... well... lets face it I've always felt lost and I've always been in therapy. I've heard things like "abondonment issues"..."anxiety disorder"..." co-dependence". So basically I know I *should* be talking to someone.

3. I'm co-dependant. If you don't know what it is, look it up. But basically it's the root of every male problem in my life. And why I have such a fucking time with boys... and will for most of my life.

4. I'm selfish. I think it comes from the fact that it's a dog-eat-dog world.. but sometimes it makes me feel bad. But only sometimes..

5. I always feel like I could do MORE. I'm 22 and the possibilities are endless. And what do I do? There are so many interests I have and I don't know how I lose motivation from point A to point B. It just kills me.

6. I trust people too easily. I'm naive. I'm gullable. And I don't know any better. nuff said.

7. I sleep too much. I think this has something to do with number 1

8. I'm truly lazy. I'd LOVE to do more.. but theres just no one in my life that really pushes me. Not that I need someone to physically PUSH me, but no one even asks. I don't have many friends that get into things like mountain biking and ask if I'd like to go. And theres no way I'd start a group myself... get serious!

9. I can't just BE. I'm always searching, waiting, wondering. I think this comes from my anxiety problems. I just hate that I rely on other things to *make* me happy.

10. I'm needy. In a lot of ways. And I just can't.....


Why am I sharing all of this today? Because I need to move....move forward. I'm sick of waking up, looking in the mirror and being completely dissatisfied.